Easier To Run
by DEVILZ CHIK
Summary: She had hated him the moment he had saved her life. What she doesn't know is that he should be hating her even more because she had ended his own life. [REUPLOADED!]
1. Successful Heartbreaker

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Easier To Run**

**Author's Notes:  
**Hello, people. Some of you might recognize this story. Yes, I've uploaded it again. I read it all over again and I could remember what was going on in my head when I wrote it. I was in a very terrible shape, all heart broken and miserable. But oh well, you didn't need to know about that. This story will have 3 chapters but I might continue it, depending on the readers' responses (if I get many). Enjoy and don't forget to send a review!

**Uploaded:  
**November 8, 2006

**Summary: **  
_She hates the person who saved her life. What she doesn't know is that he should hate her even more for ending his own._

**Disclaimer**:  
I don't own CCS or any of the mentioned characters in this fanfcition.

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**Chapter 1:  
Successful Heartbreaker****

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Why couldn't they just make it easier for me? Why couldn't they just ease my pain right away? Why couldn't they just freakin' tell me that they are together? Maybe it wouldbe easier seeing them together when they tell me, themselves, that they're together! Maybe it would be easier to accept that fact. 

"Do you like Tomoyo?" Chiharu was asking Eriol. I did not dare to look at him. I did not dare to even breathe as I waited for his answer.

"We're just good friends," he replied slowly. I still was not looking at him.

"Man, you guys must be _hella_ good friends," I said, still not looking at him but was looking at Chiharu if she agrees with me or not.

"Yeah! You must be _hella_ good friends," Chiharu agreed, smiling. "Look, Eriol, if there's something going on between you two, why can't you just tell us?"

"She's right, Eriol," I said, smiling as well and now, looking at him for an answer.

"We're just friends!" Eriol almost exclaimed.

"Really now?" I asked him with an arched eyebrow in a challenging voice.

"Really!" he replied loudly.

"Well, hey, Yamazaki's my friend but I don't hug him every time I see him. Ok wait, I do that but only in a jokingly way and when we hug, it doesn't last longer than one second! You, on the other hand, hug Tomoyo every freakin' chance you have. And there's more: I don't freakin' talk with Yamazaki or any of my other guy friends so close that it looks like we're about to kiss! You, on the other hand, talks to Tomoyo with your foreheads glued together! Right, Chiharu?" I was panting after I said that but I didn't look angry. I had my usual fake smile that looks like a real one plastered on my face when I was finished talking.

"I have nothing more to add on what she said," Chiharu said, smiling as well.

"We're just friends," Eriol repeated once again. We rolled our eyes, knowing that we could not win this time. We could never win.

I went home right after school – which I don't usually do but knowing that Eriol and Tomoyo will be there with me spending time in school after dismissal was something that I don't want. I rather stay home – do my homework early hand and just stay in bed, forcing myself not to cry but hold all the pain inside my chest.

Pain. It's so heavy. Like a burden. My heart was beating so fast and I just want it to stop. I don't want to feel this way. I don't really have to feel this way! But why do I feel so hurt? Why do I flinch and frown whenever I see them together?

I was the one who dumped Eriol. I was the one who refused to be with him twice. I was the one who doesn't want to get involved with him. I was the one who let go of him. But I wasn't the one who pushed him away!

So I guess this is what it feels like when you keep in mind that one person will always be there for you but you're wrong. I thought he will _always_ be there for me. Sure, he still is but it's different if he's in love with someone else!

I did not do anything to push him away. I just said 'no' when he asked me to be his girl but I could never be his girl. I was in a relationship when he asked me first. I didn't think he was serious – hell, I didn't even have an idea that he was in love with me ever since we became friends! He knows that I have a boyfriend at that time; does he seriously think that I was going to leave my boyfriend and be with him? I couldn't do that!

When he asked me the second time, it was _right_ after I broke up with my boyfriend. Maybe he had the wrong idea. Maybe he thought that I broke up with my boyfriend because I wanted to be with him. Well, I was stupid to give him that idea – but right then, even though I'm single, I still could not say yes to him.

I only liked him as a friend – no more than that.

He understands. I know he does.

Time went on and I guess I started falling for him.

That's it.

I fell for him.

I fell in love with him.

That's the freakin' reason why I'm feeling this way.

_I'm_ in love with him.

When I arrived at school the next morning, there was no one else where we usually hang out – at the locker hallway. I sat on the floor and began playing games in my phone. Teachers walked past by where I was sitting but they ignored me. They held on to their coffee mugs then disappeared through a door to the Faculty Tower. It's pretty normal for them seeing me sitting here by myself because that's what they witness every morning.

Minutes later, Eriol came. He dropped his bag on the floor then sat beside me. He started taking out stuff from his bag after settling down. He was practically throwing things aggressively from his bag.

"What's up?" I asked him.

"English homework," he merely answered back. "I don't know how to do it! I don't get it! Sensei just keeps on blabbing about Romeo and Juliet but she didn't say anything about the homework!"

"When is it due?" Another casual question.

"Tomorrow," he replied, flipping papers in front of him, looking for the homework.

"What is it about?" Same casual question.

"You know – Romeo and Juliet."

"Is it the one where you have to draw the scene?"

"That's the one," he was still looking for the homework instructions.

"I'm done with it," I said simply. At last, he looked at me and put down his handouts. Seeing the look in his face, I said, "It's so easy! Well, maybe for someone like me who takes Acting because we do a lot of stuff like that."

"Sakura, can I borrow it please?" he asked me with his usual puppy eyes.

"Sure," I replied then turned to my bag to get what he needs. When I was handing it to him, I said, "I got an A on that so don't you dare copy it, ok?"

"You're the best!" he exclaimed and half-hugged me. He put my finished homework in his bag and before we could have some alone time, our friends started coming along.

Eriol and I were in good terms the whole day. We were normal friends. Joking around. Laughing around. Fooling around. During lunch on the canteen, on the other hand, I couldn't help but glance where my ex-boyfriend was. He was staring at us while talking to his friends. We had a two-second eye contact then I decided to look away.

Eriol was keen enough to notice where I was looking at when I stopped talking to them. He saw who I was staring at. The frown that I may have imagined to see in his lips was gone and was replaced with a friendly smile. "I still wonder why you guys aren't back together," he commented.

"Whatever," that was all I said. That was all I said to him that afternoon.

When it was dismissal time, all of my friends forced me to stay at school after school just to hang. I agreed, because being alone in my room again will not stop me from crying this time.

Tomoyo and Eriol were much closer than before. I couldn't say that I'm the one who cares about their situation. I couldn't say that I'm the only one who thinks that there's more to them than what they say. Because I'm not the only one.

We decided to hang out in the library. We left our bags on the table where we usually stay. A couch was nearby and most of the people I was with decided to stay and talk there.

I was left with Yamazaki and his iPOD on the table.

"Borrow?" I asked him, holding out his iPOD. "Where's Chiharu?" I said, after he nodded a yes.

"She's in a meeting right now – yearbook stuff," he replied.

I handed him one of his earphones. It's his iPOD anyway. We listened to music, not speaking a word. We were never really close. Not close enough that I will tell him that I like Eriol. But I think he's the best listener I have right now. But before I could start speaking, Tomoyo was in front of us.

"Hey guys!" she said cheerfully. When we looked at her questioningly, she said, "Sensei is there. Right now, I'm hiding from her."

"Why?" Yamazaki asked.

"Because I missed choir practice yesterday," she replied quickly. Sooner, someone had signaled her that Miaka was gone so she returned to the couch where they were sitting.

Yamazaki then talked to me about Eriol and Tomoyo. He told me that he thinks that Eriol and Tomoyo are more than friends and he, too, wondered why they were keeping a secret if it was true.

We decided to go to the canteen since most of them couldn't keep themselves from being loud. Everyone went to the counter to buy something while I was left at the table with Hiroki and Naoko.

All of us turned our heads while Eriol and Tomoyo were arguing quite loudly on the counter. And then, giving up the argument, Eriol hugged Tomoyo. I wish I could rewind what just happened and had decided not to look towards them.

Not wanting to see them, I turned towards Hiroki then I remembered something. Yamazaki accidentally told me that Hiroki likes Tomoyo. Hiroki was now staring at Tomoyo and Eriol and I couldn't help myself from doing something.

"You know, Naoko," I finally said. "I know who Hiroki likes."

I finally had Hiroki's attention. He looked so scared but couldn't say anything to make me stop telling Naoko. But I wouldn't do that. Instead, I asked him, "Do you still like her?"

Knowing exactly who I was talking about, he nodded a yes sadly.

Naoko then began to whine. "Who does he like? How come I don't know who he likes?"

"Don't worry, my dear. I just happened to know accidentally," I smiled at the now pouting Naoko then turned to Hiroki again. _I know what you feel._

Everyone went back at the table with food and everyone shared everything that they had bought. Sooner, Tomoyo had to leave. Eriol offered to bring her to the parking lot - earning glances from all of us. They left and I was devastated but right there, I knew how to know if they really are together.

I excused myself from my friends to go to the bathroom but I wasn't really going to the bathroom. I wanted to wait outside the canteen for Eriol. I finally saw him.

"Hey, can we talk?" I asked him.

"Sure," he replied, his usual smile on his face.

"Do you like Tomoyo?"

"For the –enth time, we're just friends!"

"Do you love Tomoyo?" I changed my question this time.

He looked quite taken aback at what I asked but then again he repeated, "we're just friends."

"What if I tell you that someone likes Tomoyo?" I began. "No, she doesn't know about it. But she will because I'm pretty sure that that person will not hurt her. Look, if you like her, you can tell me."

"Who likes Tomoyo?" he asked, his smile was gone.

"Are you guys together?"

No reply.

"Are you guys together?"

With one long inhale, he nodded. "Yes, we're together."

I remained calm and pretended to be happy. "I knew it! I knew it!"

"So who likes Tomoyo?" he asked seriously.

"Hiroki," I said quickly. He looked so mad the way he lost his temper. "Look, don't blame the guy. It's not his fault he fell for Tomoyo. Hey, just look at you."

"He will never have her. She's mine," as soon as he said that, I rather not look at his eyes because I could see anger. I could feel his anger.

"Har," was all I could say then I turned to go inside the canteen. When he asked me where I was going, I quickly said, "Home."

He offered to walk with me to the parking lot. I didn't say yes and I didn't say no either so he walked with to the parking lot and waited for Touya to pick me up.

"Since when did Hiroki like Tomoyo?" he asked me softly, making sure that there was no one around who has the intention of eavesdropping.

"I don't know," I replied, not looking at him.

"When did you know about it?" he asked further.

"Like, last month," I answered. "I happen to know about it accidentally. I kinda guessed that it was Tomoyo when the issue came up. Hiroki had no chance to lie about it. Don't beat him up, ok?"

He merely nodded. At last, Touya's car came into view and I did nothing more than to wave at Eriol. I quickly hopped inside Touya's car and was surprised when he didn't have his usual sneer on his face.

When we got back home, Touya started preparing for dinner. Dad wouldn't be coming home tonight so it was just me and him again. I ran up to my room then stayed in bed until dinner was ready.

That had done it. Knowing that Tomoyo and Eriol are together. Tears started to well up my eyes then fall down to my cheeks. Soon enough, my eyes were puffy and red. I needed a good cry. I needed to cry my heart out.

Maybe if I cried a thousand tears, the pain that I'm feeling will fade away. But I bet that I've cried more than one thousand tears already but why do I feel this way still? What do I need to do in order to make the pain stop?

To make the pain stop from eating me up.

To make the pain stop for making me cry.

To make the pain go away?

"Dear Lord, what!" I mumbled on my pillow, still sobbing.

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**_To be continued…_**


	2. Successful Hero

**Easier To Run**

**Author's Notes:**  
Yes, Syaoran is in this story. He's actually in this chapter. For those of you waiting for him, here he is! Enjoy and please review!

**Disclaimer:  
**I don't CCS or any of its characters.

**

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**Chapter 2  
Successful Hero**

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"I was just starting to have fun watching my kid!" Syaoran whined at the Chief Angel. Apparently, he was assigned to guard his first kid since he became an angel but then just after spending a week with her; he was called back to heaven. He knew he didn't do anything wrong.

"I have someone else for you," the Chief Angel said in his monotone voice.

"Who? Another kid?" Syaoran asked, not eager though to know who exactly the person was.

"See for yourself," the Chief Angel waved his hand then the next thing that Syaoran knew, he was beside a teenager girl – a _crying_ teenager girl – on top of some building.

With the distance between him and the girl, he could feel her anger but at the same time, she was sad and in pain. He hated being able to read living creature's feelings. Lucky for him: he had learned to stop other living creatures from affecting him with their feelings but this girl was different – it was like she wasn't even trying to make her emotions be felt.

She was hiding what she feels inside.

She was crying but the rain that was pouring down had caused her tears to be invisible. Her eyes, though, were so red and tired.

From the looks of it, the girl had no intention of seeking somewhere to shed in from the rain.

_'I wonder what her problem is,'_ Syaoran thought, still watching the girl intently.

Later on, the girl's phone began to ring. She took her phone out of her jean pocket then answered it, standing up and walking towards a roof near the door.

"Sure, Touya," she said weakly, trying to sound normal. "Bye." She quickly hung up. She looked at the view in front of her. From where she was standing, she could see the other high buildings and the rain falling.

Before she could run out to the rain again, on the other hand, her phone started ringing again. "What is it, Eriol?" She paused for a moment then he felt her emotions once again – stronger and powerful this time. Her pain was even greater than it was a while ago. "Alright. Don't get too possessive. No one's going to steal her away from you with that kind of attitude of yours." Yet again, she tried to sound normal on the phone. "Yeah, ok." And then she hung up.

She looked behind her. She could see her reflection on the glass on the door. She looked exhausted and devastated.

"You're hopeless," she muttered at her reflection. "If you hadn't dumped him, maybe you're the girl that he was talking about to the whole world." She combed her wet hair with her right hand and tucked some hair behind her ear.

She looked at herself again then smiled.

Syaoran was good enough to know that it was a fake smile. But he couldn't deny that when he first looked at her, he thought it was a real smile. _'This girl's good in pretending,'_ he thought.

Her smile was quickly gone and her face was then contorted with anger. And with all the anger that Syaoran could definitely feel that's coming from her, she punched the glass on the door, breaking it. She flinched as she wounded her fist.

"Oh, damn it!" she cursed, looking at her bloody wrist.

On her other hand lays her phone still. She saw her phone then threw it. It was one good swing as if she was pitching in a baseball game. The phone was then suddenly flying down the building. She didn't seem to care if the phone would hit someone's head down below.

Syaoran found himself smirking. _'This is harder than I thought,' _he thought. _'Oh well, that's what makes it better.'_

He still doesn't know her name. How will he know?

The girl then walked away from where she was shedding in from the rain. She let the rain damp her clothes even more. She even looked up the sky with eyes closed, maybe just to feel the rain even more. Once again, Syaoran smirked, _'this girl must be crazy.'_

Without any sudden warning, the girl ran towards the edge of the building. Syaoran's eyes were suddenly so huge in realizing what the girl was about to do.

He tried his best to communicate with her but her emotions were running too high, it was impossible. Before the girl could finally jump off the building, Syaoran decided to use his powers to slow the time to prevent her from falling and to provide him more time to think of saving the girl.

He had a purpose here. The Chief Angel would not just send him here and let the girl die. He should save her. But how?

He was not corporeal. He can't touch her. He can't catch her. So now what?

Syaoran looked again at the girl's figure. She was moving really slow but her determination was clear in her face even with her eyes closed. The eyes were believed to show the deepest feelings that you have. But how come this girl could reach out to Syaoran even though it was obvious that she hasn't meant to?

Finally, he decided. With all the will he has, he spread out his angel wings, return the time back to normal then flew towards the girl. When he tried grabbing her hand, his hand just went through hers.

He knew it wasn't time to give up. The girl had fallen completely off the building and was now being pulled down by gravity. With one long intake of air – though he doesn't necessarily breathe – he grabbed the girl.

There was a loud scream as he collided with the girl's body. The girl's hands were the only thing between them. Syaoran was hugging her tightly and with one swoosh of his wings; they were flying up to the top of the building.

Syaoran didn't even glance at the girl that he was holding at that moment. He was concentrating hard on flying them on the top of the building. He didn't care how he actually got to touch the girl. But he wouldn't waste any more time.

He wants to save the girl.

And he did.

He stopped flapping his wings and made it disappear. He helped the girl regain her composure. She squinted to have a better look at him – not caring that she was totally soaked now.

"What are you?" she asked finally.

Syaoran smirked and shrugged. "What do you think?" he asked back.

"An idiot that should get his own life," she crossed her arms in front of her chest, sending a death glare to Syaoran.

"Sorry, can't do that," he said and smiled to himself at how stupid it sounds.

"What do you think you're doing here?" she demanded.

Syaoran smirked again. He could not believe how dense this girl can be. And he could not understand how she could see him. "Saving an idiot who wants to end her life," he stated.

The girl huffed and rolled her eyes. It had stopped raining all of a sudden. But the sky was dark. She looked at him then felt that her burden had been somehow lifted up behind her back.

Syaoran was staring at her intently as she looked up. All of a sudden, he was seeing flashbacks that happened here and there. And all of them have the girl in front of him.

He abruptly started feeling that he should walk away now. Far away. From her. She's the reason why --

"What's your name?" he asked, not caring if he would be answered or not.

"_Why_ do you want to know?" she arched an eyebrow at him.

"Just –" he controlled his temper and decided to speak softly. "- tell me your name."

"No."

Syaoran closed his eyes trying to stop the flashbacks that he was seeing in his mind. He tried his best to look straight at the girl. "Are you Kinomoto Sakura?" he then said.

The girl took a step back. "How did you know my name?" she asked, surprised. "Look, I don't know who you are or what you are. I don't know how the hell you manage to bring me back up here. I don't know what you're thinking butting into _my_ business. You shouldn't do that!"

"I saved your life!" he finally lost his temper, realizing who Sakura really is.

"I didn't ask you to!"

Again, Syaoran kept his cool. "Look, just forget it. I don't want to add up to your pain so I'm leaving now. But I'll be watching you."

With that, he was gone – still feeling Sakura's pain and feeling his own now.

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****Author's Notes:  
**Yes, Syaoran is an angel. The last chapter is up and running already! 


	3. Successful Runaway

**Easier to Run**

**Author's Notes:  
**Alright, here's the last chapter of **Easier to Run** I hope you liked reading it because I really loved writing it. By the way, this story is half-based on someone's life. Of course, the angel part is not real!

**Disclaimer:  
**I don't own CCS.

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**XXXXXXXX  
Chapter 3: Successful Runaway  
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It only occurred to Sakura that she should actually be thinking what had happened on the top of their apartment building. She had gone up there because silliness and irrationality had taken over her sanity. She couldn't handle the fact that Eriol and Tomoyo _are_ officially together. 

She just couldn't accept it.

She thought she would.

But then, it was harder to accept it.

So she had gone up to the rooftop -- a place where no one would be able to find her. She knew all the curtains were closed because it was raining too hard. The people who live in her building are the type of people who do not want to see the gloominess of the sky.

She was still in the elevator going down back to their apartment. Touya had called her to go back a while ago. She couldn't imagine what his reaction would be when she told him that she threw her phone. She was still soaking wet but she didn't care. She was thankful though that no one could see her like this from their apartment building.

"What the hell were you thinking!" Touya shouted when he opened the door for her. "You have a bloody wrist and you're soaking wet! Do you want to die already?"

_Yes_, she thought to herself, _but apparently, angels don't want me to die yet._

Touya practically dragged her to her room to make her change into dry clothes. She did as she was told. When was done and had gone out of the room, Touya was waiting there with a first aid kit. He bandaged her knuckles, without questioning her further.

But Sakura knew that Touya knows where she had gone and why she had gone. Touya always knows.

That night, Sakura had no one else to dream but the guy who saved her a while ago. Maybe she was mean to him. Maybe she was too ungrateful. But what is there to be thankful for, right?

_If he's my angel, then he's supposed to fulfill what I want, _she muttered to herself. _Dying is what I want. I want to be out of this world of torture. _

She wants to be free of life but how come _her supposedly angel_ doesn't get that and hadn't just let her die right there?

Sakura thought she was going to have a fever because she was practically drenched yesterday from the rain but she was not. She was about to use that excuse to skip school but it was hopeless.

Same usual morning. Sakura ended up being alone again in the locker hallway while she waited for her friends to come one by one. Eriol was again the first one who came. He sat down beside her but it was obvious that she was in no mood of talking to him right now. But even that's the case; she still listened to what he was going to say.

"I hope Hiroki knows who's he's up against," he said in a very scary way.

She laughed. "You're overreacting. The guy has no intention of stealing Tomoyo away from you. Don't blame him, ok? Don't you _dare_ act weirdly around him or else! Tomoyo is yours anyhow."

"But he likes Tomoyo!" he said childishly.

"Are you the only one who has the right to like Tomoyo?" she asked him and smirked when he realized her point. "Well if you're too worried for a competition, then maybe you picked the wrong girl again."

"What does that suppose to mean?" he asked, arching an eyebrow at her.

"Nothing," she said quickly.

* * *

Nothing was registering in Sakura's mind. Her teacher was talking about trigonometry and all she could think about was: _math is stupid._ She sighed and sat back on her chair. She glanced around the room to see her classmates paying attention to the class. She doesn't know what it is that's making her classmate pay attention to the teacher's dull voice. 

All of a sudden, someone knocked on the door. The teacher stopped lecturing then opened the door. The principal was outside with someone.

_Take your time. Take your time. Take your time. _These words were repeating again and again in Sakura's mind. The last thing she wants right now is the teacher to start talking again.

Her wish was not granted. Sooner, the math teacher went back inside the room followed by a guy. _Great_, she thought, _a new student_.

"Okay, class," our math teacher began. "We have a new student here. Be nice to him, ok? And help him to go to his classes. His name is Li Syaoran."

Somehow, the name and the face of the new student registered to Sakura and then it hit her. He looked exactly like the guy that saved her. He looked exactly like _her angel_. Syaoran was glancing around the room then for a moment, he met Sakura's gaze.

The math teacher kept saying things about Syaoran but Sakura was not listening at all. Even though she had taken her eyes off of him, she knew he was still watching her and she couldn't help but glance at his direction as well.

"Go sit there behind Kinomoto," the teacher said. "Kinomoto, raise your hand."

Hearing her name and the command, Sakura raised her hand. When Syaoran passed her, she thought she heard flapping of wings, causing her to stare and look back at him. But then: _I'm imagining things_.

Syaoran was in her next class after Math and then the next then the next then the next. He was practically in all of her classes. She did nothing but to ignore this fact anyhow. For the whole day, they haven't spoken a word to each other. They just kept looking at each other – more of, glaring.

Sakura's last class was PE with Syaoran. Tomoyo and Eriol were in that class too. Before, the three of them pair up together but then since the class is no longer an odd number, there will be no group of threes.

Eriol quickly grabbed Tomoyo when they were asked to pair up.

"You are so mean!" Sakura exclaimed to Eriol.

"I told you she's mine," Eriol said. Tomoyo was behind him – clearly not wanting the situation.

"Look, fine, Tomoyo's your girl friend but she's still my best friend ok?" Sakura spit out. "Don't be so possessive! I'm not going to steal your girl friend."

Tomoyo realized that it was her time to stop the argument. The teacher was so hasty that she told Sakura to pair up with Syaoran. With one last glare towards Eriol's direction, Sakura walked to where Syaoran was.

"Alright," the PE teacher began. "We're doing volleyball this month. We're going to work on skills and endurance today. If there's time later, we can play a game. Run five laps then stretch out. Go!"

They had to run with their partners but then Sakura and Syaoran never were close together. Sure, they were running side by side but they were meters apart compared to the other pairs. They were soon finished up stretching and they were now doing drills.

For the whole time that they were passing the ball to each other, Sakura and Syaoran never uttered a word. Well, except for: '_my bad_', '_sorry_', '_nice_' or '_mine_'. Even though they weren't really socializing, anyone could see that they have a great teamwork and they were good volleyball players.

"Ok, we don't have time for a proper game so we'll have small games," the teacher said after they did their drills. "Pair up with another pair then play half-court, ok?"

Sakura groaned when Tomoyo and Eriol were going against them.

"Hey, there," Eriol greeted Syaoran. "You're new right?"

"Yeah," Syaoran said.

"I'm Hirigazawa Eriol," Eriol said, holding out his hand. "This is Daidouji Tomoyo, my girlfriend."

Syaoran shook Eriol's hand out of politeness. "I'm Li Syaoran. Nice meeting you." He nodded at Tomoyo then Tomoyo just smiled.

"So let's play!" Sakura chimed after the introductions.

Sakura served first and unfortunately, Eriol and Tomoyo didn't get it back to them. Sakura kept serving but still, Eriol and Tomoyo were not successful giving it back and when they do, Sakura and Syaoran would manage to give it back to them.

No one knew how or why – but Syaoran and Sakura are a perfect team. They don't talk but then they communicate in the game. The PE teacher noticed this so she gave them a water break.

Sakura walked to where her water bottle was with Syaoran. Before picking up her water bottle, she looked back and smirked at Eriol. Eriol just playfully glared at her while Tomoyo was just smiling as usual.

Sakura knew that nothing was going to happen if she doesn't start talking to Syaoran. She needs to know if he's the angel from yesterday. She knows it would sound weird but it's worth a try.

Syaoran was gulping the water down his throat when Sakura faced him to talk. "Hey," she began. "You know what, you remind me of someone."

"Yeah?" he said in a very cool voice.

"Well, I don't exactly know him but then you look just like him," she said further in a casual tone.

"Who is he?" he asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"I told you I don't really know him," she replied. Sakura sat on the bench where all the water bottles and towels of the whole class were. Syaoran was still standing; his water bottle still on his hand.

Sakura was scared that that would be the end of the conversation so she decided to speak up but before she could, Syaoran did. He was bending down to get his towel beside her.

"Do I look like the angel that you met yesterday?" he asked. He was so casual. He said it as if it was not a big thing at all. He was looking straight in her eyes. She bet he could clearly see that she was entirely freaked.

She was now standing up and he was now sitting down. For some reason, she liked where they were: it made her look superior. It made her confident to ask him questions now.

"So… it really is you," she said slowly, eyeing him carefully. "I mean, it was you yesterday… And you're here… now…"

"Yes, I'm here," he said, still in a normal voice. "I'm corporeal. I can touch the ball, right?"

"Ok, stop doing that!" she snapped.

"Doing what?" he said quite innocently.

"Stop pretending like it's not a big thing! Look, I don't know how you got here. I don't know why it happened in the first place but what the _hell_ are you doing here!"

"I'm here to annoy you. I'm here to rub it in your face that you're still here on this earth. I'm here to watch you giving up in this world of torture. I'm here to watch you fail."

Each word struck a nerve. Each word caused Sakura to be taken aback. "Why?" she asked – the words just came out and it was best thing to ask, right?

"Because you killed me," he replied.

Sakura was shocked and she just wants to run away now. She shouldn't have talked to him in the first place! If she didn't, she wouldn't be feeling like this. She wouldn't be feeling so… guilty. But she has never seen this guy before until yesterday!

"What!" she croaked out.

"You killed me," Syaoran repeated. "You were my angel and then you let me die. This is, well, your punishment – being here."

"No – " Sakura couldn't believe what she was hearing. It's all a dream. A dream.

* * *

And indeed, it was just a dream. Sakura woke up and found herself in her room. Everything looked the same except for one thing – Syaoran was there in her room. 

"Hey, there," he greeted.

"Ok, am I dreaming again?" Sakura asked sleepily. She remembered her dream so well. Going to school, seeing Syaoran there – everything!

"You're not," Syaoran said, slightly shrugging. "I'm really here."

"Why?" she asked but regretted asking because she doesn't want to hear his answer.

"Because you killed me," he stated.

Sakura still could not believe it. "Darn it!" she cursed, getting off her bed. "You're lying and I'm just dreaming! I never killed someone – least of all: you!"

"Well, you did," he said and Sakura was not sure if there was real sadness in his voice.

"No!" she shouted. She threw a pillow at him but it just went through. She cursed under her breath then ran to her bathroom, took a quick bath, got dressed then left her apartment building.

Syaoran was flying above her but she was ignoring him. When she reached where she was going, she turned around to face him.

"Why are we here?" Syaoran asked her, arching an eyebrow. "What are we doing at the cemetery?"

"To prove to you that I did not kill you!" Sakura shouted. "Where's your grave huh?"

"It's all the way in Hong Kong," Syaoran said, looking at her incredulously. "Look, I'm satisfied with how things are, ok? You don't have to fret."

"Shut up!" she screamed. "I didn't do it! I didn't kill you! Why are you saying that?"

"You were my angel then you let me die." It was his same answer in her dream. She screamed as if in pain then tears started welling up in her eyes. She was starting to have flashbacks here and there about Syaoran having an accident and her standing around – not doing anything .

"You let me die," he repeated. "It wasn't my time yet, you know, but then, you didn't even do anything to save my life. What kind of angel were you?"

Sakura just stared at him.

"When a person dies and becomes an angel, he or she is the same. So that means you were still weak when you became an angel. Sure, you cared about others but it wasn't enough for you to actually help them. You were too scared that you're not good enough for them."

"When did I die exactly?"

"Fifteen years ago then when you let me die, the Chief Angel sent you back here on earth. Then they just appointed me as your angel."

"How come I can see you? I thought angels were nice but how come they're punishing me?" she was crying now.

Syaoran could feel her pain but he would not let her break through the wall that he had put up to deal with her. Sympathy is the last thing he will give her. She killed him.

"You promised to be strong but then you failed. You vowed to be back on earth when you failed and you did so you're here. You agreed to be punished."

"Whatever." She merely could speak out that word because she was crying so hard.

"Look, I really didn't want to cause you more pain but that's the way it goes."

She wasn't listening anymore. She turned around then started running. Running as if there's no tomorrow. She didn't know where she was going. She didn't care where her legs were taking her. All she wanted to do was to run away.

Like always.

She found herself on top of her apartment building once again. She had used the stairs that were located outside the building to go to the roof top.

"Stop running away!" Syaoran called back at her. He was flying after her again.

And she did. She stopped. Syaoran wasn't sure if he accidentally used his powers to make her stop but she did. She stopped. He could see that she was sniffing and wiping away her tears.

No one was around. It was only the two of them.

"I remember now," she softly said. "Yeah, I was your angel." Syaoran was listening intently. "You wanted to win that competition. You wanted to beat that other guy. You were going to skate on this really high cliff and then you died. I let you die. Oh my gosh, I let you die!"

Speaking those words by herself, Sakura cried even harder. "Is that why my life is so screwed? Is that why I'm so miserable?" She was more of talking to the sky, knowing that they were listening.

She didn't know if she should feel relieved that there was actually a reason for her pain. That she finally understood her pain. But the burden is heavier now – much, much heavier – she had killed someone.

Because she was weak.

Because she was not strong enough.

Because she was scared to be good enough.

"I'm sorry!" she said out of the blue to Syaoran.

Syaoran was surprised hearing her.

"What?" he said.

"I'm sorry," she repeated, looking straight in his eyes.

Syaoran could very well see clearly all the shades of green of her eyes. Sadness, fear and regret were all clear in those green orbs. What did he do? Why did he even do it?

When he came back to heaven for answers on why he was sent to guard the person who had let him die, the Chief Angel told him to tell Sakura the truth. That she had killed him. He thought at first that he was going to get revenge on her but it was wrong.

Now that she was in front of him, standing helpless in front of him saying sorry, feeling her pain, he couldn't say anything.

Because he was too shocked to focus on what's happening, he wasn't fast enough to grab Sakura to stop her from jumping again.

Yes, she jumped off the building again. _What is she thinking_?

Syaoran slowed down the time. Sakura's eyes were closed but he could feel that she wanted to die. Really. She wanted to leave the world. She wanted to so badly that even though Syaoran wants to save her, he couldn't.

It was a battle of their wills and desires. Syaoran hasn't gone corporeal to touch her like what happened yesterday. _'You are not going to die,_' he kept saying to himself_. You are not going to die! You are not going to die!'_

Syaoran got a sense that fate was playing with them. Sakura can't die. She just can't. She's supposed to live here on earth because she asked for it. She asked to be punished. She was in redemption. But why does she want to die now? And why can't he do anything to stop her?

_If I could change,  
__I would  
Take back the pain,  
__I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made,  
I would_

On the other hand, in Sakura's mind: _I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to be in heaven. I will never be scared again. This is the last straw, I promise. Please grant my wish and make me an angel again. I will not fail this time. I will save someone. I will keep them safe. I will save them from pain. _

Syaoran couldn't believe what was happening. He still could not touch Sakura no matter how much he wanted it. That was where the angels' powers are coming from – their will. If they would want it so much, they could it. But now - he can't

Because Sakura wants to die more than to be saved. Most of all, by him.

_If I could stand up and take the blame,  
I would  
__If I could take all my shame to the grave…_

It never even occurred to Sakura that she might not go to heaven this time. She was ending her life by herself. Maybe it still wasn't her time. But it wasn't Syaoran's time but then he became an angel. But maybe he was an exception. If that was the case, she was doing this for nothing.

And what about Touya? Her Dad? Tomoyo? Eriol? Sure, he can never love her back now but does he actually even love him in the first place? Does being jealous and being hurt when you see someone in love with someone else means you love them already? What is love anyway?

Syaoran kept trying to touch her and fly her back up the roof. There was a time when he thought he made contact with her but then he flew through her. He was now getting annoyed. He could not just let Sakura die.

And then it happened. His body crashed into hers then he held her tight. Yet again, he flew her up back to the rooftop of the building just like yesterday.

When they were on the ground, Sakura's knees gave in and she sank on the floor. She was crying. "No, I don't want to die," she was saying. "I'm so sorry. Can you believe this? I'm still weak!"

"You don't really have to run away all the time, Sakura," he said comfortingly. "I realized something: there's a reason why this is happening. How awkward it might be but there's a reason why you can see me and why you can remember your angel life."

_It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with  
something numb.  
It's so much easier to go  
than face all this pain here  
all alone. _

"And what could it be huh?" Sakura asked, not crying anymore. She looked at him determinedly. Through him she could see her weakness. He is a sign of her weakness.

"I don't know," he replied softly. "Just don't be so hard on yourself. It will be over soon."

"Just leave me alone," Sakura said, standing up but avoiding Syaoran's gaze. "You got what you wanted, right? So go! Leave me be! Keep haunting me if you want. Maybe I'll get used to it."

"But –"

Yes, he did get what he wanted. He had saved her life _again_ and he was the reason why she's still here on earth. But why does it feel so wrong? He couldn't feel Sakura's emotions anymore. She was hiding it now.

He looked at her looking for any signs that she was just kidding. But she was serious. She looks so serious.

"Ok, so you plan to stay huh?" Sakura said after a while when he hadn't moved a muscle. "Fine then! Knock yourself out watching my horrible life."

She set off for the glass door to go to the elevators. The glass on the door was still broken from yesterday. Syaoran was still there on the spot where she had left him, watching her leaving him.

_Just washing it aside  
__All of the helplessness inside  
Pretending I don't feel misplaced  
is so much simpler to change._

Watching her go back to the world. Watching her go back to her world of pretend. He knew that she will never change. She will never be strong if she won't stop running away.

If she won't stop running away from him. Her proof of being weak.

* * *

**THE END.

* * *

**

**Author's Notes:**

The song is Linkin Park's _Easier to Run_ from their album: Meteora.

Oh my, I never thought I would ever get to write those two words "the end". I know it's a bit sloppy and I don't think I succeeded in putting across what I really want to say. Anyway, please review! And while you're at it, kindly read **Fearless** as well. Thank you! The Chapter 13 of **Fearless** will be coming right up!

**DEVILZ CHIK**


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